Entering Adulthood

I guess I have crossed the denial stage by now. Haven’t embraced this yet, but I can see myself enjoying a good day doing nothing somewhere down the line. I am 21 and officially out of the cool phase of life namely Teenage. Adulthood is hard, and there is no “but” at the end of this sentence to state some great things about it. Teenage was like a low-end gaming pc trying to run Cyber Punk 2047 and still succeeding. Adulthood is like you have got the best Graphics Card out there and yet you can’t even install GTA V as it's tiring. So instead, you just play something already installed.

There is no one to surprise you with plans or food. You have to order something after scrolling for hours through the things you want to eat and then ending up ordering something enough to qualify for that 30% OFF coupon. The only surprise awaiting you is waiting for the food because even the delivery partner is in adulthood and they have decided to deliver two orders in a single run. You gotta make plans for you to go out, buy food, and watch movies. This was the part that sounded fun some 5 years ago when I used to think of having all the freedom to do whatever I wanted right? 

You get interrupted very often by thoughts, sleep, responsibilities and deaths. Yes, I mean everything listed there. I still can’t believe how we used to spend hours doing the same activity be it playing cricket or reading something in the old days. God! I am finally using “in the old days” in a sentence. We used to rarely get interrupted that too mostly for food or scolds. No one even scolds me these days, which is interesting. Thoughts have become my best friend and they are sometimes genius like now, they help me write, but at times they are just there to keep me in the interrogation cell asking infinite questions like how that person might have felt when I told them I can’t join them for the trip.

You get drained so easily. Even a good day is so tiring. Often you find it normal to sleep the next day after having a blast today. Energy has become the new currency. I have to calculate multiple times before deciding whether going out for a movie at midnight is worth it as tomorrow I won’t be able to wake up by 8.30 thus skipping my breakfast only to end up spending more on lunch and that resulting in… okay I will stop, trust me my thoughts have just started and they are the only ones who don’t get tired. Interestingly I get tired after thinking for a while now. The brain is so magical, it thinks for hours about random things escalating through imaginary situations only to realize it has been overthinking and then proceeding to overthink why it has been overthinking.

I know now that whether this is an article or blog or just me venting out, needs closure. Now I have the pressure to somehow make this positive. So that the reader in their adulthood gets some hope after spending their energy reading till now. I don’t know honestly. I guess that’s what adulthood is for me. “I don’t know honestly” whatever the hell this is. I am in control of most things now. I can schedule movies to watch on the calendar. I can stay poor for 3 days and buy some good food on the 4^th day. I can hustle through the weekdays only to disappear into a good sleep on Sunday. I can go out to drink tea some 3 kilometers away as I feel that can help me start my work. I can do a hell lot of things. I can even select what to do. Now that I read this last paragraph, hell yeah, I feel like I can decide things for myself. I know most of the choices are gonna end up being straight-up dumb. I will pat on my back and write about the dumb things some months later for you all maybe. It’s time to do some dumb things till my knee hurts or I feel hungry or sleepy.